THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF WIGS! # 12
I'm writing this week's article from Phoenix, Arizona where I am performing for the weekend. It's 110 degrees! Yes, 110!!! I actually like the intense heat, it makes me feel alive.  But it is not really drag friendly weather. As soon as I stepped out of my hotel room last night I almost fainted. And when I got home I had to wring my tits out! BUT - I am having the best time here!! I live for the drag cavalcades you get at clubs outside of NYC. Don't get me wrong, NYC drag is amazing and you really get performers who are at the top of their game. But we don't have 2 hour shows with 3-4 queens giving you costume changes, etc. And the queens here are so fun, nice and talented!! Friday night I was a guest at Apollos. Barbra Seville is the host and the "lady" responsible for getting me out here. She's super nice and when she came backstage before the show with a tray of shooters I knew we would be dear friends. Barbra was electric onstage and hysterical on the microphone. For the second set she did a spot on Bette Midler including a live monologue (not easy) and she nailed it. Also on the bill was the sexy Sasha who turned out Katy Perry. She's super thin (bitch) and actually performed in a bikini! And then came Celia Putty! I was gagging! Celia was a well known drag entertainer but then took 10 years off and is now returning. People must have missed her because this gal is over the top, out of her mind funny! She did a Sarah Palin medley that mixed dialogue with songs. When she whipped out a rifle and started singing Barracuda I fell on the floor. Ok, I was bombed by then and fell on the floor. But the point is she was killing me. During the break (remember, it's a 2 hour drag show!) Celia was changing into her next costume. When she wrapped a sweater around her head I said, "You are not doing Edie Beale?!?" She just smiled. She took the stage performing a song from Grey Gardens and mixed it with dialogue from the movie. I was in heaven!! (I'm writing this part the next day) Saturday night I performed at Forbidden Nightclub. I was a bit worn out and the dry heat was getting to me. I felt like Shequida was following me around breathing on me! But the crowd was so energetic and excited I rallied for the show. Barbra was the host again and opened with a gorgeous rendition of Rio. The other girls were Naomi, a beautiful lady who opened in a dress made out of strips of black sequin the size of band aids! She was great and totally lovely. And Maikala is on fire! She has many titles (not a NYC thing but very important when everywhere else) and I could see why. Dancing and burning up the stage. Costumes galore. A real show girl. I loved her version of Roxie. Thanks Phoenix!!
I hate to complain and never vent here but... I made a return appearance at Celebrities in Vancouver to celebrate their Canada Day. There is a reason why I always insist on flying direct on show days. For some reason I said they could get me the cheap ticket and what a nightmare! I had a 6am flight (UGH!) so was already cranky from no sleep and coming off of a boozy night before at the Ritz. I had a short stop in Detroit. We are boarding the plane when they make an announcement that everyone had to deplane. There was a mechanical problem and the flight was canceled. No explanation, no directions, just get off. Now there are 200 people RUNNING to the Help Center to be the first. I got caught up in the frenzy and was running as fast as I could. I must have looked like Bianca del Rio (minus the white eyeliner) trying to out run the border police. When I got there there were already 100 people in line so I decided to call instead. I was informed that I had already been redirected to Dallas and would arrive in Vancouver at 11pm! Mind you it is 9am! I lost it!! I told them I was an international drag performer and had to be in Vancouver before 8pm or I would miss the show and thousands of people would be devastated. She hung on me. I called back and tried the "nice" approach and was redirected to Vancouver via Chicago and Minneapolis. Yes, 4 flights to get there. 9 hours late!! I was NOT happy. As compensation they offered me 25 Delta dollars which means I could purchase headsets and half a coke. But once I got there the promoters, Blue and James,  felt so bad for me that they really took care of me. Limo rides to and from the airport and a GORGEOUS hotel room. The show was crazy fun and was packed. The hostess was this funny queen Joan E. The next day I slept about 12 hours then had lunch with my dear friend Cotton. Moral: fly direct!
A quick shout out to my Hero Of The Moment, Felicity Stardust! She has been saving my life all week! We shot the Alejandro video parody and again, Felicity was on top of it. Making props, helping me, assisting others - a real trooper and someone I can depend on so I want her to know how much I appreciate it! Thanks bitch.
I was trying to think of what else to write about as most of my out of town gigs have been solo and I haven't seen any wig hoppers, Then it hit me -duh! I just saw Lady GaGa at Madison Square Garden. Thierry Mugler was given 4 tickets but couldn't go so sent them to our friend Keith Dunhill who invited Joey Arias, Raven O and myself. We had super hot seats - really the only way to see a big concert. We were sitting there waiting when I got a text from Jon Jon Battles who was on the floor (K Hole? No, standing in front of the stage on the floor) saying, "Looks like a Bar d'O reunion". I wrote back, "This is the row for middle aged drag queens". His reply: "I think that's being kind". Love her. Anyhoo- Miss Fame Monster delivers 200%!!! She was phenomenal!!! Costumes galore, dancing, playing the harp, playing a keyboard guitar thing,  playing the piano with her boots!! It really was spectacular. People can say what they want but I think she's the hottest thing since no glue press on fingernails. I am a huge fan!! My favorite moments were Speechless and Teeth. AND she is the most outspoken supporter of the LGBT community. No one else does that! She has her old friends from the LES onstage with her, she spoke of her charity for homeless youth (many are LGBT) and made lots of comments about gay love! Living for GaGa!!!
Check out my brand new video parody of Alejandro, YOU'RE A HOMO!
Next article from Europe!